A while back, I received an email from a woman who ran a large, paid community for people building their businesses.
She was sharing a video of one of her participants who was working on becoming more visible and attracting media attention. The woman was thrilled with her participant’s progress. Other members were cheering her on, telling her how wonderful she was.
I clicked on the video.
Oh boy.
The participant was clearly uncomfortable on camera. Her delivery needed work, her message wasn’t coming through effectively, and she wasn’t ready for the kind of media exposure she was being encouraged to pursue.
Now, let me be clear. I applaud anyone willing to step outside their comfort zone and develop new skills. It takes courage to put yourself on camera, particularly when you’re just beginning.
And a supportive community can be a wonderful place to practice.
But here’s what concerned me.
The woman running the group had shared that video with her email list of approximately 25,000 people. That’s a lot of exposure for someone who was still learning.
She needed encouragement, certainly. But she also needed honest, knowledgeable feedback. And the woman running the group needed to recognize that sharing this video with 25,000 people wasn’t in her participant’s best interest.
And those are very different things.
When Everyone Tells You You’re Wonderful
I’ve seen this dynamic play out in other ways, too. An author receives an invitation for a media interview and takes it to their peer group.
“What do you think? Should I do this?”
The responses come pouring in.
“Absolutely!” “What a great opportunity!” “You’ll be fabulous!”
Their friends and colleagues want to be supportive, and that’s a wonderful thing. We all need and love support at times.
But do those people understand how media interviews work? Are they willing to tell you that you need some work, or are they concerned about hurting your feelings?
Do they know the particular show, its audience, or the interviewer’s style? Can they recognize whether the opportunity is a good strategic fit?
Maybe. But often, they don’t. It’s not their job, nor is it their expertise. And that’s where good intentions can lead someone astray.
The people who care about you aren’t necessarily the people who can tell you whether you’re ready for a media opportunity.
Looking Good Isn’t the Same as Being Ready
When people think about media training, they often focus on how they’ll look and sound. They want to appear polished, confident, and professional, and that’s a good thing. We all want to make a good impression.
But what happens when an interviewer challenges something you’ve said? What if you get a question you weren’t expecting, or one you were secretly hoping nobody would ever ask?
That’s when preparation really matters. You can have beautiful lighting, a flattering camera angle, and a room full of people telling you how fabulous you are.
None of that guarantees you’ll know what to do when an experienced interviewer puts you on the spot.
Confidence is valuable. Competence is essential.
And competence comes from learning, practicing, receiving constructive feedback, and developing the ability to respond well even when things don’t go according to plan.
We All Need Cheerleaders. We Also Need Truth-Tellers.
One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that being a good strategist and media trainer requires both. I’m delighted to encourage people. I love seeing authors and experts become more confident, discover their voices, and share ideas that genuinely help others.
But sometimes my job is to say, “Not yet.”
Not because I don’t believe in them. It’s quite the opposite.
It’s because I can see what they are capable of becoming, and I don’t want them stepping into an important media opportunity before they’ve developed the skills to make the most of it.
Sometimes that means more practice, refining their message, or preparing for difficult questions rather than hoping they won’t come up. And sometimes it means reconsidering whether a particular interview is worth doing in the first place.
That may not be the answer someone was hoping to hear. But it may be exactly the guidance they need.
Media Darling Moment: Before your next media interview, ask someone with media experience to put you through a practice interview, including the questions you hope nobody will ask. Welcome their honest feedback, even when it isn’t what you want to hear.
Praise feels good. Preparation makes you better.
To your success!
Joanne
P.S. Everyone has an opinion, and they’re usually happy to share it! But when it comes to important decisions, it pays to know whom to listen to.
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