There is a moment I see fairly often in media training. It is subtle, but it can make a smart, credible person sound less confident than they are.
An author/expert is asked a good question. They know their material. They are thoughtful, articulate, and genuinely smart. And then, right as they begin to answer the question, they start talking us through their own mental sorting process. It sounds something like this:
- “Well, there are a few ways to look at that.”
- “We could go a couple of different directions here.”
- “I am not sure whether to answer that personally or professionally.”
And just like that, the energy shifts. We are suspended in midair, waiting…
And it’s not because they said anything wrong, or that they’re unprepared. It’s because instead of making a decision and leading, they are pausing the conversation and letting us watch them decide how to lead.
I’m writing about this today because I was listening to someone recently who had so much to offer. He was warm, knowledgeable, and deeply credible. But a few times during the conversation, he began his answer by laying out his options instead of choosing one. You could almost hear the fork in the road. Should I take this angle? Or that one? Should I answer as the expert? Or tell the personal story? It was subtle, but you could feel the effect. The answer lost a good amount of its authority before the real point even began.
The point here is that your audience does not need to hear your internal decision-making.
They do not need to know the three other paths you considered, and they don’t need to be walked through the hallway while you choose a door. What they need is for you to open the door and walk right through it. They will follow.
That is part of what authority sounds like.
It’s not being stiff and it’s not polish for the sake of polish. What we want from an expert is simply quiet decisiveness. So, here is what I mean…
Instead of saying: “There are a few ways I could answer that, but maybe I will start here…”
Try: “One of the biggest mistakes people make is this…”
Instead of: “I am not sure whether to come at this from the business side or the personal side…”
Try: “This usually starts as a personal struggle, but it quickly becomes a business problem.”
Feel the difference?
One sounds like thinking out loud. And the other sounds like true leadership. A true expert. A true authority.
This is important during interviews because the audience is making tiny decisions about you all the time. Can I trust this person? Are they clear? Do they know where they are taking me? They may not consciously name the habit, but they absolutely can feel its effect. Even a small bit of visible deliberation can soften your impact.
And the irony is that the people who do this are often the most thoughtful ones. They are trying to be nuanced. Careful. Respectful of complexity.
But media is not the place to narrate your options.
Media is the place to make a choice, give a clear answer, and let your thinking show up in the quality of what you say, not in the fact that we watched you choose it.
So here is the reminder: You do not need to announce every fork in the road. Just pick the road. And then lead.
Media Darling Moment: Do not walk us through your uncertainty. Walk us into your answer.
To your success!
Joanne
P.S. Join me for a webinar on how to not wing it during media interviews. It’s coming up on Tuesday. And it’s free! Join me.
P.P.S. There comes a moment when you simply have to choose the path and go your own way.
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