When Brian Tracy was one of my clients, I was constantly approached by people looking for favors. It’s natural when you’re connected to someone well-known — people want introductions, endorsements, or even just a foot in the door. I understood that.
But one particular request left me a bit speechless.
An author I’d only briefly met at a convention the year before emailed me out of the blue. Attached was her book manuscript, along with a simple — yet bold — request: “Could you ask Brian for an endorsement?”
That stopped me in my tracks. This was a huge ask from someone I barely knew. There had been no follow-up after our initial meeting, no effort to build a connection, and yet here she was, asking for something significant.
This experience highlights something some authors often overlook when they get into marketing and publicity mode for their books: relationships aren’t built in moments of need — they’re often cultivated long before that.
In fact, the best time to build a relationship is before you need it.
That can’t always be done if your book is coming out soon or if it’s already out, but if you have your sights on particular media platforms, or an expert for an endorsement, or whatever it might be, the time to start building that connection is as soon as possible.
Focus on the long game
Think about it. If someone only reaches out to you only when they want something, how does that feel? Exactly. It feels transactional. It feels icky. And then it’s awkward because how are you going to deal with it?
The most impactful opportunities often come from people you least expect — an editor you chatted with at an event, a fellow author you supported online, or even a podcast host you engaged with months before you had something to pitch. This is liquid gold.
I could give you some tips on how to build these relationships, but most likely you already know them. It’s simply a matter of doing it, but here are a couple anyway just to remind all of us.
- When you meet someone — whether it’s another author, a journalist, or a potential reader — be genuinely interested. Take the time to learn about them without an agenda. The truth is you never know who you’re talking to or where your relationship might go.
- Share someone’s post, comment thoughtfully on their work, or recommend their book without asking for anything in return. Small, thoughtful gestures go a long way.
- A quick check-in email, a thoughtful comment on social media, or a simple congratulations on someone’s new project—these small gestures keep you on their radar in the best way. Social media makes it easy. A birthday reminder pops up? Great! But why stop there? Go a step further and make a meaningful connection.
- Relationships take time. Again, think about the long game. Focus on building trust, not rushing toward an outcome.
One day you’ll need them, and they may need you, too.
When you finally do have a big ask — whether it’s for a blurb, an introduction, or media coverage — people are far more likely to say yes if there’s already a foundation of trust and connection present. We all know this is true.
One other little tip: I take an hour a week dedicated to reaching out to people in this way. Not for anything. Not because I need something. Just to let them know I’m thinking of them.
Remember, as an author, your network is one of your most powerful tools. But it’s not something you can create overnight. Losing 30 pounds in 30 days is not a good strategy, so start thinking long-range today. Reach out. Engage. Build relationships — not because you need something now, but because one day, you will.
And when that day comes, you’ll be glad you started early.
To your success!
Joanne
P.S. Better Together
#startearly
#buildingrelationships
#bookmarketing
#bookpublicity
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