The Inner Game of Media for Authors

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The Inner Game of Media is a real thing! I was reminded of this again this week when a very well-known Influencer came to me asking about securing television interviews for him. You would know his name if I mentioned it, but of course I respect his privacy. We all want that when it comes to our own insecurities, but this is a very teachable moment so I do want to explore it with you even if I don’t share the name of the individual.

Media Darling talks a lot about the Inner Game and the Outer Game of media. Briefly, the outer game is all the strategies and tactics we use to gain coverage and visibility in the media. The Inner Game is everything we say to ourselves beforehand.

It’s worthy of noting that this Influencer is doing great by most people’s standards. He has a huge platform, thousands upon thousands of followers, a huge email list, and whenever he launches something new, he makes really good money from it.

What he also has is fear. You would never guess it until you start talking about the thing he is afraid of, which is fear of the unknown. Fear, specifically, of doing live TV. He’s perfectly fine with his own camera and shooting video of himself, but the idea of going on a morning TV talk show has him completely rattled.

Deep down, many of us have a fear of being “too out there,” which is really about feeling like we’re not good enough. That belief more than any other causes a lot of damage or prevents people from even trying. (“If I don’t try, then I don’t have to admit that I’m not good enough to do this.”)

Needless to say, he and I are going to do some media training together so he can get beyond this. But it got me thinking…

How can this one thought, “I’m not good enough” have so much power over so many?

Says who??

Still, one thing I know from doing this work for many years now with thousands of authors is that questioning fears, that Inner Game, is essential if you want to go bigger. But first, you must be aware that it is there. If the fear is operating beneath the surface unknown to you, then it can easily do a lot of damage and we think it is something else. Pro tip: You’ll know this negative thought is operating beneath the surface if you say you want to do something only to find yourself making excuses for not doing it.

Once you know that crippling thought is there, rather than running from it, you have to stop and stare right into the center of it and let yourself shake. It’s scary until you do this, and the miracle is that then, and only then, does it begins to subside.

Sounds easy, and it is, but when you’re shaking in your boots, it doesn’t feel easy. But that really is the key.

Other ways to help calm yourself

Focus Correctly: Keep your mind focused on who you are there to help, not your own inner fears.

Remember Past Successes: Remember all the other times in your life when you were afraid of something but you got past it. Every time we learn something new, we go through part of this process. You’ve accomplished endless things, so let yourself feel the good feelings about them and then apply this good feeling to the new thing you want to do.

Visualize Success: Take a few moments each day to visualize yourself succeeding in the situation that scares you. Imagine how you would feel, how you would act, and the positive outcomes. Visualization can help make the fear feel more manageable and less intimidating.

Stay Curious: Approach new challenges with a sense of curiosity rather than fear. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

Use Affirmations: Create a list of positive affirmations to remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities. Repeat these affirmations daily to reinforce a positive mindset. However, while many people love affirmations, I find questions to be so much more powerful. Rather than saying, “I am worthy. It’s easy for me to try new things for added visibility,” try this: How can I feel more worthy today? What can I do to feel better about reaching out and creating more visibility for myself and my book? Listen to the answers that come up and write them down. Then start to do them!

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your small victories along the way. Recognizing progress, no matter how minor, can boost your confidence and keep you motivated.

Bottom Line:

There are many different ways to calm any fears and help yourself accomplish the things you really want to do. The first, and most powerful, is to acknowledge and feel the fear. When you do, and really stay with it, it will change. Then try the additional strategies listed above. And if you have another tip that really works for you, please let me know about it. I would love to share it in an upcoming issue of Savvy Sunday News.

To your success!


P.S. In the U.S., Monday is Memorial Day. It is a time when we remember and honor those who have fallen in service to our country. If you have never seen the movie Taking Chance, I highly recommend it. In fact, I think every American should see it.







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